Anything you cna do I can do better
by Yakko Warner's twin
Summary: Whose better Bobble or Screw? Big brother or little sister? This therey is put to the test in a musical number


Anything you can do I can do better

By: Screw Kettletree

This is what happens when you're bored and you're sitting next to you quarreling cousins in the car

Disclaimer: I own none and nothing except Screw

I was onstage with Bobble. He was staring at Screw with a mischievous cunning he'd had on his face before he made her sing. He couldn't be doing that again though. She'd declined all invitation to sing again and stared pointedly at Bobble when she said, "_Nothin'_ will get meh back up there."

"We have a special request," I said, "Screw will you come up here?"

Filled with dread she dragged her feet up the platform. She cast Bobble a look that said, Really?

He shot one back that said, Aye, deal with it! He smirked and turned back to his audience.

"Someone has requested The Kettletrees sing a duet together," my voice was full to the brim with laughter.

"Wha'?" shrieked Screw.

"Aaaww, Screw don' be a spoilsport," whined Phineas, "Do ye need encouragement?" at which point he turned to the crowd.

Cheers erupted and the crowd roared, "Screw! Screw!"

"Fine!" the exasperated tinker girl cried out and stooped down low to pick out a song as I left.

"Oh this one is so perfect!" exclaimed Bobble. Screw raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh ye even know how weird tha' sounded?" she asked him. He shrugged and turned on the song.

Screw began to sing in a southern drawl

Screw: Anythang ye can do, I can do better!

Bobble:Ha!  
Screw: I can do anything better than ye

Bobble: No ye can't

Screw: Aye I can

Bobble:No ye can't

Screw: Aye I can, aye I can!

Bobble: Anything ye can be I can be greater

Sooner or later I'm greater than ye

Screw: No yew're nae

Bobble: Aye I am

Screw: No yew're nae

Bobble: Aye I am

Screw: No yew're not

Bobble: Aye I am aye I am!

I can hit a partridge with a single cartridge

Screw: I can hit a sparrow with a bow an' arrow

The animal talents looked really green after those lines

Bobble: I can live on bread and cheese

Screw: And only on tha'?

Bobble: Yep

Screw: So can a rat

The crowd burst into hysterics as Screw goaded Bobble who chased her around the stage.

Bobble: Any note ye can reach I can reach higher

Screw: I can reach any note higher than yew

Bobble: No ye can't (higher)

Screw: Aye I can(higher)

Bobble: No ye can't

Screw: Aye I can

Bobble: No ye can'

Screw: Aye I can

Bobble: No ye can't

Screw: Aye I can

Bobble: No ye can't

At this point Bobble's voice cracked and Screw smirked.

Screw: Aye I can!

Bobble stood shocked for a moment

Bobble: Aye ye can! *spoken* Wow, how do ye get yer voice tha' high?

Screw: I'm a lass!

Bobble: 0.0'

Anything ye can say I can say softer,

Screw: I can say anything softer than ye

Bobble: No ye can' (softer)

Screw: Aye I can(softer)

Bobble: No ye can't

Screw: Aye I can

Bobble: No ye can't

Screw: Aye, I can

AYE I CAN!

Bobble: I can drink mah liquor  
Faster than a flicker.  
Screw: I can drink it quicker  
And get even sicker!  
Bobble: I can open any safe.  
Screw: Without bein' caught?  
Bobble: Sure.  
Screw: That's what I though'-  
ye crook!

The crowd had eyebrows raised at liquor and they laughed outright. The Kettletrees were being stupid… Again…

Screw :Any note ye can hold  
I can hold longer.  
I can hold any note  
Longer than ye. 

Bobble: No, ye can't.  
Screw: Aye, I can 

Bobble: No, ye can't.  
Screw: Aye, I can 

Bobble: No, ye can't.  
Screw: Aye, I can  
Aye, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-II-I-I-I-II-I-

*Out in the crowd* Tink: You got any eights?

Clank: Go fish

Screw: CA-A-A-A-N! (Cough, cough!)  
Bobble: Aye, ye ca-a-a-an! Wow, where do ye keep all that air?

Screw: Whew…

Bobble: Oh…

Anything ye say  
I can say faster.  
I can say anything  
Faster than ye.  
Screw: No, ye can't. (Fast)  
Bobble: Aye, I can. (Faster) 

Screw: No, ye can't. (Faster)  
Bobble: Aye, I can. (Faster) 

Screw: Noyecan't. (Faster)  
Bobble: AyeIcan! (Fastest)  
I can jump a hurdle.  
Screw: I can wear a girdle.  
Bobble: I can knit a sweater.  
Screw: I can fill it better!  
Bobble: I can do most anything!  
Screw: Have ye learned te fight? 

Bobble: Aye

Screw: Guess wha', so have I

_Oh, inside jokes, _thought Screw as the crowd looked confused.

Screw: Anything ye can sing 

I can sing sweeter

I can sing anything  
Sweeter than ye.  
Bobble: No, ye can't. (Sweetly)  
Screw: Aye, I can. (Sweeter) 

Bobble: No, ye can't. (Sweeter)  
Screw: Aye, I can. (Sweeter) 

Bobble: No, ye can't. (Sweeter)  
Screw: Aye, I can. (Sweeter) 

Bobble: No, ye can't, can't, can't (angrier)  
Screw: Aye, I can, can, can (triumphant)

Yes, I can! 

Bobble: No, ye can't!

They finished shouting inches away from each other's faces glaring and laughing.

"Didn't realize ye were so much better than meh," Bobble grinned as they left the platform.

"I'm glad te have enlightened ye."


End file.
